It was a dark and stormy night when we returned to our campsite. To our surprise, we found our cooler about 15 feet away from where we had left it and food strewn around the campsite. A big plastic box that we use to store other camping gear was also opened. Food packaging was perforated with little tiny teeth marks, and it looked like something with a much larger mouth had tried to eat the bottle of pancake syrup. We picked up the mess in the dark before piling into our sleeping bags. We assumed we'd been paid a visit by a bear or a cougar. Made it a little hard to go to sleep.
Sometime later, still awake and listening to the rain on the roof of our tent, I took mental inventory of the food we had lost. The little plastic box of goodies that had been in the big plastic box was untouched. I thought that chocolate and crackers would have been sniffed out first. I turned my attention to the cooler. The cheese and lunch meat were chewed, apparently by a chipmunk. The milk was fine. Munchkin’s soymilk – wait, I didn’t see the carton of soymilk. I didn’t see the bread, bagels, butter or cream cheese, either. It would have served the beast right if he’d eaten the chocolate flavored laxative, but it was untouched.
In the morning I asked Scott if he’d picked up the missing items. Not only had he not seen them, but he hadn’t seen his carton of half and half, either. We searched the area for any sign of the missing items. No tracks, no trash, no specks of eaten food, nothing. What kind of an animal could have done this damage? It didn’t take us long to realize, and the locals confirmed it – it was Bigfoot. Naturally.
For those who follow such things, I want to draw attention to the new information that Bigfoot or someone in his family is apparently lactose intolerant. Notice, he took the soymilk and left the regular milk. Of course, he took the half and half, too, so maybe he enjoys an occasional cup of coffee.
If Munchkin were a few years older, he probably would have been scared, but instead he adopted Bigfoot as his newest imaginary friend. He’s hoping Bigfoot will come to his next birthday party.
War on Waste - Food, home solutions
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